An Alcoholic in the Family?

Janis L. McLaughlin, M. Ed., LCADA Prevention Coordinator

How do you know if someone in your family is an alcoholic? No one wants to think that someone they love has a problem, so we all tend to minimize the things we see. The drinker himself or herself also wants us to believe there is no problem so they can go on with their drinking pattern.Well, here are some questions you can ask yourself to find out if someone you love is an alcoholic. If you answer “Yes” to two or more questions, the person is an alcoholic and needs to get some help. You can begin the helping process by learning how to approach an alcoholic. We can help you with that. But first, here are the questions.

1. Does someone in your family undergo personality changes when he or she drinks?
2. Do you feel that drinking is more important to this person than you are?
3. Has some family member’s excessive drinking ruined special occasions?
4. Do you find yourself covering up for the consequences of someone else’s drinking?
5. Have you ever felt guilty, apologetic or responsible for the drinking of a member of your family?
6. Does your family member’s use of alcohol cause fights and arguments?
7. Have you ever tried to fight the drinker by joining in the drinking?
8. Did you ever feel like you had an unhappy home life because of the drinking of some member of your family?
9. Have you ever tried to control the drinker’s behavior by hiding the car keys, pouring liquor down the drain, etc.?
10. Are holidays more of a nightmare than a celebration because of a family member’s drinking behavior?
11. Are most of your drinking family member’s friends heavy drinkers?
12. Do you find it necessary to lie to employers, relatives or friends in order to hide your family member’s drinking?
13. Have you ever been embarrassed or felt the need to apologize for the drinker’s actions?
14. Have you ever thought that one of your family members had a drinking problem?
15. Have you ever lost sleep because of a family member’s drinking?
16. Have you ever threatened to leave home because of a family member’s drinking?
17. Did a family member ever make promises that he or she did not keep because of their drinking?
18. Have you ever felt sick, cried or had a “knot” in your stomach after worrying about a family member’s drinking?
19. Does your family member avoid social situations where alcoholic beverages would not be served?
20. Does your family member have periods of remorse after drinking occasions and apologize for his or her behavior?
Remember, if you answer “Yes” to two or more of these questions, the person you care about is an alcoholic and I hope you will take some action. I know it is hard. I know it seems impossible. I know you do not want any of this to be true. I also know that many, many people have chosen to do the very hard work of getting help for their alcoholic and for themselves. It works. You are not alone.
If you have questions, please call Heartland Circle of LCADA.